fell off the wagon…
Hi gang…
As the title of the post suggests, I’ve totally fallen off the wagon. I even went so far as to cancel my weight watchers subscription because I wasn’t bothering to keep track of anything.
I cancelled the subscription yesterday and I’m already feeling guilty about it.
This morning I stepped on the scale, realized ive gained 5 pounds, and then went to McDonald’s.
As if a Big Mac was really helping my problem.
I did go for a bike ride for about an hour or so this afternoon, but I should have done more. Why is it that having nothing to do makes me that much lazier? Seriously I have no excuses not to work out for hours every single day and I just can’t make myself do it.
I did talk to my friend who is an incredible personal trainer and he offered to sit down with me and come up with a diet and exercise plan. I think we are going to try to sit down on Tuesday and figure something out. I always work out better and am more successful when I have a trainer pushing me.
The only thing that sucks is that the gym he trains at is totally not conveniently located to me and there really isn’t one close by. But I can’t let that be an excuse.
I am just so sick of being fat. It seriously consumes my life. I feel enormous. I need to get this under control.
Ugh.
I need motivation and inspiration, help!
Ugh. Well I admitted last week that I was not really paying attention to Weight Watchers because of all my law school finals stress and how impossible it is to try to eat healthy when you’re spending 10 hours a day in the library (we have NO options for healthy foods by school).
I actually managed to only gain 1 pound (net) as of last week, but I have a feeling this week is going to be a different story. I have only worked out once, and I’ve been doing a LOT of drinking and eating out in “celebration” of being done with another year of law school.
Now it’s summer, and the pool in my building opens in 2 weeks, which means SWIMSUIT SEASON! I weigh about the same now that I did last summer, but I feel absolutely humongous. Is there any worse feeling? Ugh.
So anyway, issue #1 is that I need to get back on track with Weight Watchers and working out at least 4 days a week.
Issue #2 is that even when I was doing that, I felt like it wasn’t really working. Yes, I lost 15 pounds, but I cannot tell one bit. My clothes still do not fit, I still look like a freaking whale in pictures, and I don’t really feel any better (although I can run further now, so I can tell that I’m getting in shape a little bit). I know that I can’t quit, because getting fatter or even staying like this is not an option, but it’s really hard to stay motivated when I’ve been after this for 5 months and haven’t seen any results other than the numbers moving on the scale (and really, what do those numbers mean if i still feel bad about myself and if my clothes still don’t fit?).
So I guess I need to buckle down this next week and try to make something happen. I don’t really have any other options, do I?
Ugh. 
Sorry for the Debbie Downer post, I’m just really struggling and feeling down today.
It’s a Miracle!!
So for the last two weeks or so I’ve pretty much given up on Weight Watchers… As I said previously – law school finals and Weight Watchers just don’t mix!
I have still been weighing in on Wednesdays though… Last week I gained three pounds. Isn’t it incredible how easy it is to pack the pounds on and how ridiculously tough it is to get rid of them?
Now for the miracle: this week I lost 2 pounds. I totally wasn’t tracking points and just barely did any working out, so I have no idea how that happened.
Of course I had gained three pounds the week before, so this really just puts me at +1, but it makes me SO happy that I didn’t add any more that I’ll have to take off once I get back on track this weekend after my finals are over!!
Starting Weight: 205
This week: -2
Current Weight: 191
I have a friend who is a really well-known personal trainer, so today I emailed him about setting something up for the summer. I want to set up a regular schedule with him so I have a plan… I am definitely the type who needs plans!
I don’t have a job for this summer before I go to Europe at the end of July, so I have no excuse for not getting in good shape!!
He also teaches lots of classes at the gym he works at, so I’m going to start taking those too. I think this will be exactly what I need to kick start my summer weight loss and get me to she these next 15 pounds!!!
I am excited to be a gym rat this summer, especially because this trainer is so fun so I know I’ll have fun working out with him!
Law School Exams and Weight Watchers
JUST DON’T MIX!!!!!
I am almost done with finals, thank goodness.
I don’t think my brain, my tired eyes, or my waistline could take much more.
I am admittedly a REALLY bad stress eater, and this go-round of finals has been no different. And studying/schoolwork in general makes me hungry. All those things added up means I haven’t even been pretending to count points. I’ve been eating what is quick and cheap and drinking whatever caffeinated beverages can keep me awake.
Luckily, I am done at 1:00 on Thursday and have absolutely nothing planned for the next 8 weeks after that except body boot camp!!
I am actually really excited about getting my butt in shape before my amazing study abroad this summer in Prague. I know we are going to be taking lots of pictures that I’ll hopefully hang onto forever, so I don’t want to be the fat girl in pics or embarassed to display them once we return!
Now if I can just get through these last two finals…
